The history of the free mistress
The history of the free mistress has been recorded throughout the human cultural experience from stories to laws. In most societies, the existence of a free mistress – a woman who was not married to an aristocrat or official – was often encouraged and accepted. Generally, these arrangements made life more convenient and comfortable for all involved, allowing both the free mistress and her protector to enjoy certain financial and social privileges.
In early European societies, the institution of the free mistress was well established. Council records and charters show that feudal lords often kept free mistresses as an additional source of income. The rights and privileges of these women were dependent on the whims of their lord or protector, but they were generally guaranteed certain rights. For example, the free mistress might be entitled to a certain portion of a lord’s income or estate, as well as a private quarters separate from his family. If the relationship ended, she could also receive a portion of her protector’s income for her maintenance.
Throughout Europe and the Americas, communities of free mistresses were often established. These women were generally supported by a patron or protector and also able to capture some additional money through prostitution or other services. Because of their precarious positions, they sometimes faced discrimination, especially when they had children. However, in some cases, the free mistress was seen as a more desirable relationship than marriage due to the autonomy and stability it provided.
As the tide of social reform swept through Europe and the Americas, the institution of the free mistress started to decline. In the 19th century, moral reformers challenged the acceptability of these arrangements. With the rise of organized labor, attitudes toward the middle- and working-classes shifted, and employers were no longer able to use the institution to control their female employees. With laws in place to protect the rights of middle- and working-class women, the economic power of the free mistress declined and the institution eventually died out.
In the modern era, the institution of the free mistress has been largely forgotten, but it still stands as an important part of our cultural history. By recognizing the institution and its effects on the lives of those involved, we can better understand the role of gender, economics and power in our social arrangements. Looking at the history of the free mistress can help us to understand our contemporary gender dynamics and perhaps even inform our attempts to build more equitable social, political and financial systems. Site link
The women who become free mistresses
The term ‘free mistresses’ generally refers to women who move outside of the traditional confines of marriage, often acting in a similar role to that of a spouse, although with a lesser degree of responsibility, commitment, and financial obligation. For many, becoming a free mistress is a route to attaining personal freedom, either from an oppressive marriage, an unwanted relationship, or an unsatisfying lifestyle.
It is not uncommon for such women to be connected to someone who has obtained a significant financial benefit from their relationship; such as access to funds, property, or power. This provides them with the opportunity to be financially independent and in control of their lives, sometimes not relying on a partner for income.
The power that comes from being a free mistress can be highly attractive to some women. Being able to make their own decisions and dictate their own boundaries gives them a sense of autonomy. Since they are not bound into a traditional arrangement where one is financially and emotionally reliant on the other, they have far greater freedom to do as they please.
Aside from the financial freedom, these women often take a break from the pressures of marriage, improving their personal and professional lives by taking time to focus on themselves. Being free of the expectations that a marriage can bring, such as marriage gifts, visits to the in-laws, or split holidays, can bring a feeling of relief and comfort.
Boundaries need to be strictly enforced and kept in order to protect both individuals; such as expectations of each other’s fidelity, availability, and discretion. Being clear with the other person about expectations can often be paramount in maintaining a successful relationship.
In spite of being viewed negatively by many, it is important to note that this kind of freedom does not discriminate. Women of all walks of life and of any relationship status can make the decision to free themselves, as it serves as a way to take control of their lives and meet their needs, whatever they may be.
For some, becoming a free mistress is an attractive option to raise their personal wealth, while others may see it as an opportunity to experience the best of both worlds. No matter the reason behind it, those who become free mistresses can be empowered to make their own decisions independent of society’s expectations and ideals. Ultimately, it comes down to the individual to decide if this is the right path for them and what works best for their situation.
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